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Author: Watchtower
Views: 329
Replies: 0
All Hail The Sperm: Linda Ikeji Done Carry Belle



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[Image: 2EEA45F1-CA7A-4FCF-9368-B2D6B33651F6-768x769.jpeg]

This life eh, who no fear sperm no fit fear anything. That tadpole-looking something, CHEI! Urhobos call it AMEOMA, water of body. In fact, my “odova” (what a man is hailed with and to which he replies) is “Ameoma” and I reply “ore ee” meaning “e no dey finish. A man stays DANGEROUS even at 100 years old.

You see, when I saw Linda Ikeji raise her hand up and belly big like she sold her house to buy the foofoo she ate, I said to myself “SPERMMMM YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!” She raised her hand like she won world cup. She raised her hand like she is is marrying Prince Harry. She raised her hand like… like… like a woman who has collected hot ameoma. And she has. She hassss.

When she built her mansion she did not raise hand like this. When her blog became so profitable, she did not raise her hand like this. When she and all them Wizkid were quareling and she lands a bad punch, she did not raise her hand like this. Even when PDP and APC were dropping big money for adverts, she did not raise hand like this. But when SPERM DID SPERM THINGS, ha!!! Raise it up!

And sperm sha! The nation has changed topic. Not even a police Inspector general that cannot read can displace the work of sperm from front page. This is the news. Linda Ikeji has secretly collected ASURUWA and it is now showing.

And they are talking. We are talking. “Akamu” that entered secretly has changed national conversation.  Everyone has an opinion. Those whose husbands did not marry them as virgins and collected enough “asuruwa” from their old boyfriend, just because their boyfriend’s sperm did not swim well, or their egg was not ripe well, or their KPEKUS acid was too string for their boyfriend’s sperm then or they drank all the POSTINOL or in fact got pregnant and did abortion, all of them have opinions on “out of wedlock” baby.

Men who are right now trying to give jism to one lady that they are not married to, and who have been giving SEMEN to many women like politicians giving SEAMAN’s schnapps to babalawo are there talking about “out of wedlock baby”. They are semonizing about values and culture. So abortion is culture? Or condom is culture? Let he or she who has not eemm…  throw the first…

Oh shut up. We all know after like two emmm emmm, condoms go away. How many people have the discipline to wear condom for twenty emm emm? Gerrattt! Sharrappppp!!! Twenty times with the same girl and you wore condom through out? LIAR!!!

Even the very first one that you do not know if she will raise yansh and let you pull pant, when her leg has MISTAKENLY OPENED after much begging and struggle, how many people will PAUSE “OKWARE” to go and wear RUBBER CLOTH ON TOP? Where is the time?  For old men like me that OSHO has stood to attention, we will now be stopping and wearing it and waiting. well… Many OSHO is impatient and might just LOSE INTEREST. So SHUT UP on the condom.

Many of us use prayer as protection from STD pregnancy. You look at the girl and kpekus and as you are touching and licking THINGS you are saying “father father. Any gonorhea or syphilis inside this kpekus, I bind in the name of …. Any pregnancy.., em. Na STD we dey stop. Who remembers pregnancy? For pregnancy, we do “I will not POUR inside”.

So STOP and SHURRUP. If you did not marry as a virgin, as long as you  BROKWARE, you could have become pregnant out of wedlock. Just because you were lucky or became a murderer by paying for an abortion does not make you any better OR WORSE. CANE your LANE. Let the girl CANE hers. And boy! Has she been CANING. Chei. Lie down! One stroke, two strokes, to the left, take it in your hand. Now kneel down and open your mouth. Now bend let me flog your yan… Yessss Yesss. She has been CANING HER LINE

And telling you not to. hehehe. Sperm strong! Reveal almighty Linda as hypocrite. She dey COLLECT in TEASPOONFULS and telling others not to collect.  Chei!

Moral of this story is “the war on sperm can never be won”.  Let the pastor preach about fornication. Let oyibo do condom, Novaring, Diaphram, IUD etc etc, SPERM will always win because NATURE must continue itself. God cannot mold Adam again so he gave him AMEOMA. The pretty geniuses like Linda owe it to nature to procreate and continue the DNA. It mist be passed down, married or not. KPOKIRIKPO and give us “little linda” in a male or female form. We will love the baby just the same.

Congratulating Linda and wishing her joy in all she does.

And praying for all girls feeling they are getting old.  Come on!!! Collect the sperm first and ask questions later.

Ameoma conquers all.

We all were sperm.

All Hail the Sperm!!!